This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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