good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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