a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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