That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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