these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
