11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
