Please, let me fuck your mom
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
