is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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