if you like me you must not know who I am
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
