Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
handjob tips. give me some.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
