As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
