NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
