First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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