How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
