Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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