don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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