I smell stomach acid.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize