I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
