If i come over, it means nothing
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
