$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
