I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
