Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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