"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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