a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You've changed since you got that strap on
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
