Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize