Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
