bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
