I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
