I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
