I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
