I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
