I have demons in me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize