No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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