Fuck appropriateness.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
