She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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