did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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