He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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