so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
