There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
