At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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