I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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