Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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