the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
