What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
