No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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