I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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