you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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