Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
