pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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