this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
