the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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