i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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