That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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