So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
