Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
