ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
where am i from again
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
