Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
