i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
