We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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