Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize