My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize