Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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